I wannas sexs uuuuu
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish i was in the wii world.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
