we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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