My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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