I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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