please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
