Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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