these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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