Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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