So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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