is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
