Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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