I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
