What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
