people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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