come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
