there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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