just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
