Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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