I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
