One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
