Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
