I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
