that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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