I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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