she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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