walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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