Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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