I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize