Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dick has a subreddit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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