I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
