Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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