you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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