it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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