But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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