glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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