The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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