I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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