I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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