'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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