Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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