Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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