Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
