I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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