Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
