gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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