I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk is a universal language darling
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
