I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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