As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is glitter all over my balls
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
