Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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