good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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