Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize