i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
