when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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